Reflecting on Progress: A Year in Review for Families
It’s officially December, which means the New Year is on the horizon…
December marks a transitional opportunity—a moment to pause and reflect as we enter 2025. While a New Year brings new beginnings, in theory, I wonder how many of us feel excited about creating resolutions, embracing change, or the prospect of something different.
Transition and change disrupt our sense of comfort, and it requires reflection on where we’ve been and what we’re moving toward. Our brains are wired to favor predictability, so for caregivers navigating the intricate web of raising adolescents, this time of year can cause vulnerability and uncertainty, especially when we’re asked to examine familiar patterns and routines—even the unhealthy ones.
For many families, this past year offered different highs and lows, proud moments that fostered connection and raw emotions that we wish we could undo. While we can’t erase what was, these experiences provide valuable insights if we dare to give change a chance with the right set of questions and a shift in mindset. Reflecting collectively isn’t about over-focusing on imperfect moments or highlighting missteps, it’s about building awareness and taking a look at what worked, what didn’t, what fell short, and moving forward with routines that work favorably for your family.
This process of looking back, not only helps uncover individual and family strengths, it allows us to move away from fixating on perceived weaknesses. Here are five practical steps to help families reflect on 2024 with intention and purpose.
1. Reflect on What Worked
Observe and make notes on what proved to be effective by identifying routines, supports, interactions, and experiences that went well. You can also add a list of family strengths, successes and proud moments to your list. Get specific. Were there communication approaches that worked better than other moments where understanding and connection took priority? Was there an activity that supported connection and overall family fun? What progress was observed in each individual family member and where did your family collectively see improvement?
Example: “Family check-ins during the drive from school to home helped everyone stay on task regarding individual expectations for the day and identifying where we needed to contribute to the family as a whole.”
Why is this important? Acknowledging strengths and positive interactions reinforces positive behaviors and sets the tone for a strengths-based focus. It also shows your teen that progress, even the smallest of wins, deserve recognition and celebration.
2. What Didn’t Work
While most of us would love to skip over this step, this piece is crucial. This isn’t about pointing fingers—it’s about curious observation and honest evaluation. Were there conflicts that could have been handled differently or communication mishaps that created bigger tensions? Are there strategies or routines that simply didn’t work or fell short of expectations? Are there individual needs that didn’t get met and need to be acknowledged? Let’s not force what no longer works; it’s time to brainstorm and explore alternative solutions that will better suit your family’s needs and individual personalities.
Example: “Trying to pack too many activities into the weekend led to frustrations, resentments and feeling as though individual needs were not being met. One alternative could be one activity on Saturday, so that we have Sunday to relax and prep for Monday.”
Why is this important? This allows opportunities to pivot with flexibility, versus staying stuck in repetitive patterns that don’t work. This step also models adaptability, problem-solving and showing your teen that evaluating challenges and obstacles can lead to positive changes.
3. Focus on Strengths Over Perceived Lacks
This is a big one and it’s easy to fall into a pattern of focusing on what’s missing. This could be reflecting on unmet goals, unresolved conflicts or challenges that continue to linger. If you catch yourself saying things like, If only or It would be easier if, you’re falling into a trap of perceived lacks. It’s time to shift your mindset and observe the strengths in the here-and-now.
Example: Instead of replaying a conflict that seems to carry the same theme, focus on the progress made. Maybe each time the conflict surfaces, the conversation resolves more quickly and carries less tension. Or maybe your teen is sharing more of their true feelings or individual are communicating with less blame and yelling.
Why is this important? This allows you to focus on the bigger picture, focusing on each small success forward, while minimizing your focus on the end result, or negative traits.
4. Growth Through Small Wins
Progress is sometimes small and comes in incremental steps. This is about observing each leg of the race. Think about the bigger milestone and reflect on the progress made toward the bigger goal. Have you, the caregiver, responded with less yelling and more emotional regulation during moments of stress? If you’re teen engages in self-harming, are they more open and communicative in sharing when a situation has surfaced?
Example: “Even though my teen refused to go to every therapy session and pushed back with stubbornness, they attended weekly in-person or via Telehealth, and opened up with the Therapist.”
Why is this important? This practical tip encourages patience, persistence and creative solutions both in parenting and personal development.
5. Use What You’ve Observed/Learned to Plan Ahead
As a family, reflecting isn’t just about looking back—it’s a way to move into the New Year with intention. With everything you've observed and learned over the last year, you can create some really meaningful intentions that center around connection, growth, health and well-being, or any other priorities your family desires most. Your goals don’t need to be perfect, but they do need to be a match to what your family values most. Ask yourself,
Example: “Let’s commit to one family activity a month that we all enjoy, or let one person pick the activity, so that we can be more intentional about learning what hobbies each of us enjoys and connecting to the individual person’s interests.”
Why is this important? Intentions grounded in reflection and rooted in values and family priorities are more meaningful and it’s more likely that your resolutions will be achieved.
Final Thoughts
Reflecting on the past year is an opportunity to celebrate every moment of progress, learn from challenges that surfaced, and plan for continued growth. By focusing on what worked, what didn’t, emphasizing strengths over perceived lacks, and planning ahead, your family can transition into the New Year with a renewed sense of hope and excitement.
