Yoga Was Never Supposed To Be My Thing
It’s funny; even now I find myself in awe about a practice that completely changed the way I observe myself. I can see two versions of myself staring at one another, a comparison of before and after, one that’s no longer recognizable, yet highly valued for the lessons learned, and one that exists with permission and purpose, taking steps daily to align with an authenticity that’s consistently changing.
I had previously observed yoga as a one-size-fits-all, but everything changed in 2015 when I attended a Compassion and Wisdom Conference. Each afternoon, we had a choice to attend one of two sessions. On this particular day, I wasn’t open to either choice. I picked the lesser of two evils, a presentation on evidence-based yoga breathing and self-regulation, and figured I’d just sit in the back. The only seats available were front and center.
I participated and I was amazed. I left with an entirely new perspective on yoga and I was determined to learn more. So, I let go of my expectations and opened myself up to what yoga could be for me. Shortly after, I trained and became a Yoga Practitioner with LifeForce Yoga.
LESSONS LEARNED
Forgiveness of Self
Forgiveness is highly misunderstood. It’s a process, not defined by excusing actions or changing what happened, it’s about acceptance, not approval, and it frees us from resentment. We forgive to provide an opportunity for continued peace, first and foremost for ourselves, learning from a past and taking forward action.
In my mind, forgiveness was equivalent to saying, no big deal, therefore making myself susceptible to another hurtful action. One day it all clicked, if I was to forgive others, I needed to take responsibility for my role and my behaviors, and I needed to forgive myself. Yoga provided the containment for self-compassion and the space to observe my interactions with clarity.
Provoking Vulnerability
Come exactly as you are. Acknowledging the beauty in our imperfections and entering the darkest corners and depths of who we are, lies an inherent knowing, our intuition, that allows us to welcome the truth of who we are.
This is me. For the longest time, I hid behind a veil, protecting myself from a perceived scrutiny. If people knew the real me, I would be exposed. The truth is, I was embarrassed by circumstances and ashamed by the messy parts of myself. Yoga has provided a judgment-free zone and the capacity to accept what is. I can’t change my past, but I’m willing to reflect on a past that has shaped me to be exactly who I am, and for that, I’m grateful.
Embracing Stillness
Yoga is an invitation to get familiar with and reclaim our bodies, allowing a connection to self to be established. With continued practice, it can empower us to release emotions and stagnant energy that may have gotten stuck in our body, thus allowing an inner sense of calm to radiate within, while also quieting the mental chatter.
Through yoga, I’ve had the opportunity to learn about my physical body, the messages behind my discomforts and tensions, and what my body needs in these moments to rest, energize, or re-calibrate. Per history, sitting in my body wasn’t something I welcomed, yet through the practice of quieting the mind and with attention to my breath, my body has become an ally; no longer an adversary that I need to disconnect from.
