Encouraging Joy During Thanksgiving for Teens with Depression
Thanksgiving can be a wonderful time of togetherness, but for teens who struggle with depression, the holidays may feel less joyful and more burdensome. Depression affects how teens perceive and experience these moments, often creating a sense of disconnection or emotional heaviness. As parents, we naturally want to lift our teen’s spirits. But supporting a teen with depression requires gentleness, understanding, and an environment that honors their emotions.
What is Depression?
With Depression being one of the leading causes of illness and disability among adolescents globally, it’s important to understand what depression looks like from a clinical standpoint. A diagnosis of Depression entails having at least 5 of the following criteria for two weeks or more, with the first criterion being mandatory for a diagnosis to be made: 1) A depressed mood most days or a loss of interest or pleasure in most activities, 2) A significant change in weight including weight gain or weight loss without dieting efforts, 3) Fatigue or loss of energy, 4) Difficulty concentrating, 5) Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide, 6) Feelings of worthlessness, 7) Difficulty sleeping or oversleeping, and 8) Either an increase in physical activity that has no purpose, such as pacing, or slowed movements or speech that is observable to others.
Strategies to Encourage without the Pressures of Having to Be a Certain Way
1. Understand Depression’s Impact on Social Settings
Depression doesn’t simply mean “having the blues;” it’s a complex mental health disorder that affects mood, motivation, and one’s energy levels. Social gatherings, while often exciting for others, can be exhausting or overwhelming for teens facing depression. With a low tolerance for stimulation, a teen experiencing depression could feel more drained by interactions and a festive atmosphere.
It’s important to set realistic expectations and observe your teen’s social battery. Let your teen know that it is perfectly okay to ask for breaks, or take time alone to pause. Permission is powerful; I highly encourage you to give your teen the freedom to come and go from conversations and the days activities.
2. Create a Pressure-Free Environment for Gratitude
Thanksgiving is commonly an opportunity to share what we're grateful for, but for teens dealing with depression, the whole “being thankful” thing can sometimes feel a bit much, forced and incredibly fake. And, there’s no “fake it till you make” here. Depression often creates a fog of despair, clouding one’s ability to see the positives, therefore fueling negative thinking patterns. Rather than pushing your teen to express gratitude, try fostering a comfortable sharing space where gratitude can emerge naturally if they’re ready.
You might start by sharing something you’re grateful for in a lighthearted way, letting them know that they’re welcome to join the conversation if they feel up to it. Or alternatively, you could start a quiet routine of thankfulness that doesn't require any public expression of appreciation. For example, you could place a “gratitude jar” in a common area where individuals are encouraged to add small notes of gratitude throughout the day. This allows your teen to join at their own pace, in their own style, and without feeling like all eyes are on them.
3. Focus on Small, Joyful Moments
Teens with depression may feel disconnected from large gatherings or holiday traditions. Rather than focusing on the bigger celebrations, look for small, meaningful ways to create joy. Small acts of connection and physical comfort has been proven to lift moods, even if only briefly. You might think about making your home feel cozy, enjoying some time baking together, or just kicking back and watching a favorite movie in a relaxing atmosphere. Need more ideas, check out these additional ideas:
Cook Together: Invite your teen to join you in making a dish they love, even if it’s something simple. Connecting without the pressure of talking is a welcomed activity with lots of flexibility.
Take a Short Walk: A brief walk outdoors, with a cozy jacket and warm drink in hand, not only has the power to lift spirits, it’s a great break away from the holiday bustle.
Start a New Tradition: How about letting your teen pick an activity that could turn into a fun new Thanksgiving tradition? It could be something like a puzzle, a board game, or even a little craft project!
4. Normalize Their Emotions
Depression can feel heavy, creating emotions that often feel complex. Finding the right words to describe feelings becomes a challenge and the day-to-day can feel empty and isolating. So when your teen hears things like, “It’s Thanksgiving; cheer up!” can feel shaming and unintentionally disheartening. Instead, say something to the effect of, “I know this time of year can be really challenging. It's totally fine to feel whatever you're feeling, and I'm here for you if you need anything. There’s no pressure to feel or act a certain way.“ Holding space, while giving them room to experience the holiday in a way that feels real, is an opportunity to build trust and show your teen that their emotional safety is your top priority.
5. Encourage Gentle Engagement Without Overcommitting
Getting your teen involved in Thanksgiving activities can be a great idea, but it's important to keep things balanced and not push them too hard or make them feel uncomfortable. Let your teen decide how they want to get involved. They might enjoy sitting close by while others are engaged, or they could feel at ease lending a hand with setting the table without being part of the bigger group.
If there’s a big family meal, consider allowing your teen to step away if they’re feeling overwhelmed or encourage a low-key alternative, like inviting just a few close friends or family members. Letting them choose how they want to engage really helps ease the stress and makes the holiday feel a lot more doable.
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be picture-perfect to be meaningful, and for teens facing depression, it’s often the smallest, gentlest gestures that bring the most comfort. By prioritizing empathy, creating pressure-free opportunities for gratitude, and respecting their needs, you’re helping your teen navigate the holiday season in a way that feels safe and manageable.
One Final Note
As you celebrate Thanksgiving, keep in mind that every little bit of support counts. Your presence and understanding mean so much more than any tradition or event. Together, let’s focus on making this season one of acceptance and gentle adaptation, no matter what emotions come up along the way.
