Helping Teens Navigate the Emotional Highs and Lows of the Holiday Season
With the holiday seasons upon us, it’s normal to experience a mix of feelings—there's some excitement and joy, but also nostalgia, stress, sadness, and even a hint of anxiety. For teens who experience big behaviors and intense feelings, these emotional ups and downs can feel like a never ending roller coaster. As parents, it's important to find ways to help our kids effectively manage their range of feelings without placing too much pressure on putting their best face forward or setting unrealistic expectations. Here’s a few ways to help your teen navigate this emotionally intense time period.
1. Recognizing Emotional Triggers
Triggers are stimuli or events that fuel emotional reactions and the holidays can certainly stir up a lot of different emotions for teens. It could be memories tied to past experiences, the stress of social obligations, or the pressure to feel “extra” happy during this time. Teens might feel a bit off sometimes, dealing with feelings of not measuring up, comparing themselves to others, or even feeling down if they're missing someone special or grappling with tough memories.
Start by having an open conversation with your teen before the holidays are in full swing. Try asking things like, “What part of the holiday season do you find stressful?” or “Are there specific events or expectations that make you feel anxious?” When you listen without judging, not only does it help your teen feel heard, it provides an opportunity to engage in prevention planing and solutions. What needs to be implemented to reduce the expected stress? Problem-solving could be reviewing coping skills that will undoubtedly help, creating back-up plans, or ensuring that we’re holding ourselves accountable to not over-schedule festivities.
And don’t forget to notice what triggers your emotions; this can help you personally handle your own anxieties before they get too overwhelming.
2. Creating a Flexible Schedule
Holiday traditions can be really special, but they can also feel pretty exhausting for teens who are already dealing with emotional overwhelm. How about making your holiday schedule a bit more flexible instead of partaking in a jam-packed routine? Make efforts to focus on what truly matters to you and your family, and don’t forget to schedule time to relax and take a breath..
Talk to your teen about the upcoming events and let them share what activities they’re really looking forward to, those that don’t feel so exciting and ones they’d prefer to skip. Working together will not only provide valuable insight into their holiday needs, it can really help them feel included and valued. If your teen feels like they need a little time away from a gathering or outing, let them know it’s totally fine to take a pass and focus on their mental health and emotional well-being.
3. Teaching Coping Strategies
Teens, especially those with high-risk needs, benefit greatly from practical tools that will help manage the emotional ups and downs. Here are some strategies:
Mindful Breathing: Encourage your teen to take a few minutes each day to practice mindful breathing. This can help them find their balance when things become a bit too much.
Grounding Exercises: Try some simple techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 method. It’s all about identifying five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. This can help your teen reconnect to the present moment.
Journaling: Encourage journaling as a way for your teen to express emotions they might otherwise find difficult to voice.
Movement: Physical activity, whether it’s a short walk or dancing in their room, can be a great way to release pent-up energy and stress.
4. Practicing Empathy and Support
When teens feel that their parents truly understand their needs, they're more likely to share their thoughts. It’s an opportunity to move away from a “fix it” mindset to taking intentional steps to recognize their feelings, even the tough ones. Instead of saying things like, “Don’t be upset, it’s the holidays,” you might say, “I know the holidays can feel overwhelming at times. I’m open to hearing what you need. I’m happy to chat if you need to talk and here if you need to take a break.”
When you practice empathy, letting your teen know that it's completely fine to feel a mix of emotions, you're helping to create a safe space for them to work through their feelings without shame. Support can show up in all sorts of ways—like enjoying a cozy movie night at home, whipping up their favorite cookies, or just giving them some space when they need it.
Final Thoughts
It's important to remember that if your teen has some ups and downs during the holiday season, it’s totally normal. By recognizing triggers, setting flexible plans, teaching coping skills, and practicing empathy, you can help your teen find some emotional balance and a little extra joy this holiday season. Keep in mind, being present for your teen and showing your support is way more important than any flawless holiday plan. Let’s focus on one day at a time, putting connection and emotional well-being first, instead of striving for holiday perfection.
Together, we can make the holiday season a time of additional comfort and genuine connection for your teen.
