Understanding Cutting Behavior in Teens: A Guide for Parents
Cutting can be a fear-inducing topic for parents—for good reason—yet when cutting is understood, it’s much easier to navigate this behavior with your teen.
Cutting is a form of self-injury or self-harm in which one purposely chooses to use a sharp object or other means, such as their fingernails, to cut or scratch an area of the body. Cutting can occur as a one-time incident or become a recurring pattern of behavior which requires more serious intervention.
Warning signs may include:
Wearing long sleeves or pants, even in warm temperatures.
Scars or cuts, sometimes in patterns.
Expressions of helplessness or worthlessness.
Frequent reports of injury.
The presence of sharp objects.
Finding sharp objects hidden in their belongings.
Why do teens engage in cutting behaviors?
It is helpful to think of cutting as an unhealthy coping tool to manage really big, painful feelings that otherwise cannot be verbally expressed. Cutting can provide a sense of calm for teens when they feel overwhelmed. It additionally offers a sense of control, especially if teens perceive external circumstances as chaotic.
Oftentimes, cutting is a secretive behavior that happens behind closed doors. While parents should take a proactive approach to understanding the warning signs, it’s important to note that cutting is not directly correlated with suicidal thoughts or the intention to complete suicide, nor is cutting a mental illness.
How should parents respond if they suspect of observe that their teen is cutting?
If you observe or suspect that your teen has been cutting, please reach out for professional support. Here are some additional steps to consider:
1) Stay Neutral: It can be incredibly difficult to remain calm especially when cutting immediately induces fear, worry, sadness and various, non-stop thoughts about the cutting behaviors, Why would they do this?, How long has this been happening?, How did I not know?, Did I do something wrong?, etc.
Try your best to stay calm and without judgment, as often times reacting with anger, panic, lectures, or a rapid firing of questions can make the situation worse as cutting is strongly associated with shame and guilt.
2) Keep the Lines of Communication Open: Coinciding with Staying Neutral above, provide a space where your teen observes that you are there to listen and support them. Make your best efforts to stay curious, striking a balance between non-reactive concern and setting the expectation that cutting is a behavior that creates safety concerns.
3) Educate Yourself: Take the time to learn more about self-harming and cutting behaviors. Understanding the truth and realities about cutting will undoubtedly help you provide more effective support to your teen, and with time will reduce your fears, so that cutting becomes more manageable versus a behavior that feels uncontrollable.
4) Seek Professional Help: Find a mental health professional who specializes in working with high-risk adolescents and who additionally focuses on self-harming behaviors. Therapy can help both you and your teen create a safety plan, increase accountability together, learn healthier coping skills and address some of the underlying concerns that activate, or trigger, cutting behaviors.
5) Safety First: With Seeking Professional Help above, ensure that sharp objects are safely disposed of and their access limited. It’s highly recommended that this safety piece be completed in collaboration with a mental health professional.
Other Common Questions:
1) Is my teen cutting because of something I did wrong?
It’s common for parents to feel a sense of guilt, however it’s important to understand that cutting is a complex behavior and impacted by various factors. Factors include, but are not limited to, personal experiences and stressors, mental health aspects, peer influence, and difficulties regulating emotions. My best recommendation here; focus on prioritizing safety and providing support to your teen, rather than blaming yourself.
2) Can cutting be a cry for attention?
While some cutting behaviors can be attention-seeking, it’s more helpful to view your teen’s cutting as a sign of overwhelm. From this perspective of distress versus a cry for help, caregivers are less likely to dismiss the behavior and more likely to address the underlying reason for why their teen is cutting. My best recommendation here; seek professional help sooner than later to prevent cutting behaviors from worsening or intensifying.
3) What is the recommended treatment approach for self-harming and cutting?
Here are two main therapy approaches:
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is an evidenced-based therapy that connects cognitive and behavioral therapies. It’s often used to address high-risk behaviors including self-harming and other impulsive behaviors. DBT supports clients to build skills in four core areas: 1) Mindfulness, 2) Distress Tolerance, 3) Interpersonal Effectiveness, and 4) Emotional Regulation.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) examines thinking patterns and helps clients change distorted beliefs. CBT additionally helps teens understand how thoughts, feelings and behaviors are connected. While a main focus is on exploring and restructuring unhelpful thoughts, CBT uses a variety of strategies to address these negative thought patterns.
Caregivers, please remember, you’re not alone. Seek professional support and create a space where your teen knows that their safety is the priority. With continued support and appropriate intervention, your teen can learn healthier ways to cope with distress and their bigger emotions.
